


all this muscle could never lift a thing without you

by daydreamblvr6



Series: blvr's self-indulgent malec fest [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Cuddling, Domesticity, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M, So many kisses, dealing with mental illness, physical affection, these two being the absolute best boyfriends they can be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daydreamblvr6/pseuds/daydreamblvr6
Summary: Magnus has a bad depression day and Alec helps.This is set in thespeak your bleeding heart 'verse. Although reading that piece isn'trequiredfor your understanding of this one, I would definitely recommend it. It's all about Alec and Magnus being really handsy and good at talking, too, so if this interests you, it's safe to say that will as well.“It's a bad. Day.” Magnus pushes the words past his lips like they're boulders rolling up his fragile throat. “A bad – depression day.”“Oh,” Alec says. “Would it help if I – ” He shifts to pull the covers up and slides carefully beneath them to press his chest to Magnus' back, locking their knees and laying an arm around Magnus' stomach.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this because i needed it, so i hope it helps you too <3

“Hey, Magnus.” Alec pushes open the door to Magnus' room and sees Magnus shudder at the sound. He's curled on his side in bed, facing away from the door. Not at all where Alec expected him to be.

“Hey,” he says again, softer, soothing, as he sits on the bed beside Magnus. He places a gentle hand on Magnus' arm. “What's wrong?”

“It's a bad. Day.” Magnus pushes the words past his lips like they're boulders rolling up his fragile throat. “A bad – depression day.”

“Oh,” Alec says. “Would it help if I – ” He shifts to pull the covers up and slides carefully beneath them to press his chest to Magnus' back, locking their knees and laying an arm around Magnus' stomach.

“ _Yes_ ,” Magnus whispers in answer, shaking with relief.

Alec slips his other arm underneath Magnus, folding it across Magnus' chest and clasping Magnus' shoulder. Magnus clutches Alec's forearm with both hands. Alec places a tender kiss on the back of Magnus' neck and a tear rolls down Magnus' cheek onto his pillow.

They lay together for an hour; Alec trying to press his face into all the skin of Magnus' he can reach, Magnus trying to match their breathing, their heartbeats. He imagines himself blending into Alec until the thought of letting his feet touch the floor doesn't exhaust him. He takes a shuddering breath, feeling air hit the bottom of his lungs for the first time all day.

Alec tightens his hold on him, curling tighter around him. “Have you eaten today?” he murmurs against the knob of Magnus' spine at the base of his neck. Magnus shakes his head.

“Okay. I'm gonna go fix us something, okay?” He pauses, but Magnus doesn't answer him. “I'll be back soon,” he promises and starts to draw himself carefully away from Magnus.

“Alexander,” Magnus says and Alec returns immediately to their previous position, pressed close. Magnus bows his head to kiss Alec's wrist. “Just. Gimme a sec,” he asks, his voice creaking like unoiled hinges.

“Yeah of course.” Alec presses small kisses into the side of Magnus' neck, each one deliberate and tender and soft.

“All right,” Magnus says finally. He releases his hold on Alec's arm. Alec draws away slowly, separating them part by part. He kisses Magnus' temple, lingering there, when he's drawn away enough to sit up again. He shifts himself carefully off the bed and hesitates a moment before leaving the room, giving Magnus a chance to call him back if he needs to.

He hurries to the kitchen, grabbing a plate from where he finds them in the cabinet by the sink and piling it with everything he can find in Magnus' fridge that looks light enough to sit well in sadness.

When he returns to the bedroom, he finds Magnus sitting up against the headboard, eyes closed. Magnus doesn't open his eyes until Alec sits on the edge of the bed in front of him, plate of food balanced on his thigh.

“Thank you, Alexander,” he says, smiling small and weighted.

Alec leans forward and kisses him, working hard to put all the tenderness he feels into it. “You're welcome,” he replies against Magnus' lips before leaning back and holding up a strawberry in offering. Magnus sits up straight, crossing his legs beneath him and reaching a hand out to take the fruit, but Alec reaches past that hand to bring the berry to Magnus' lips.

His smile lighter now, Magnus takes Alec's wrist to steady them both and bites the strawberry in half, slipping the rest from Alec's fingers to offer it to Alec in return. Alec almost can't take the proffered bite past his gentle grin. Juice drips down Magnus' palm when Alec finally accepts the fruit into his mouth and he turns his hand backward to caress Alec's cheek with his knuckles. “Buah hatiku,” he murmurs, tender and aching.

Alec turns to kiss those knuckles and then brings another piece of fruit to Magnus' lips. They feed each other, turn in turn, until they're sated and sticky.

They're kissing, lips on lips on cheeks on temples on necks and hands and wrists, on the inside of elbows, when Alec presses a thumb against Magnus' lips, which Magnus licks, tasting peach and strawberry. Alec laughs lightly, places his whole hand against Magnus cheek to emphasize the point he was making of their disarray, which Magnus had so studiously missed. Magnus' wrinkles his nose at the stick of Alec's palm against his face and Alec laughs again.

“We should probably...” Alec takes a moment to consider the depth of their mess, sticky lip tracks up and down each other, assessing the degree of clean up they need, “shower,” he finishes.

Magnus looks suddenly exhausted.

“Together,” Alec clarifies, reaching his other hand to rest against Magnus' other cheek. “I've got you.”

Magnus smiles again, bringing a hand up to lay on top of Alec's. “I suppose you want to do this _now_?”

Alec chuckles. “Better now than after we've made everything in your house sticky.”

Magnus nods. “There are more fun ways to do that.”

Alec chokes on air and blushes so red that Magnus can nearly feel the warmth of it. He brings his hand to his mouth to hide his smile, but Alec sees it anyway. Grinning, Alec shakes the blush away – or tries to – before leaning forward, slowly, catching Magnus' eye while he bites his bottom lip, to run his tongue up Magnus' jaw. Magnus moans as his eyes slide closed, hands coming up to hold Alec's face, only to find Alec no longer there. He blinks himself aware again to see Alec sitting where he had been once more, grinning cat that ate the canary.

“You give as good as you get,” Magnus breathes. “I'll give you that.”

Alec's smile widens and he stands, offering Magnus his hand. Magnus accepts and is pulled into Alec's arms, Alec's face resting in Magnus' hair and its day old gel, which Alec doesn't seem to mind in the slightest. Magnus completes the hug by wrapping his arms around Alec in return.

“Now our clothes need washed,” Magnus points out, but Alec just shrugs. Magnus smiles the small, secret smile that's Alec's alone.

They linger for a moment more before Alec steps back, taking Magnus' hand and leading him into the bathroom. They undress each other gently, hands wandering over each new section of skin as it's revealed. They pile their clothes at their feet. Alec steps into the shower to get the water temperature right before pulling Magnus in after him. Magnus trips at the tug on his hand and stumbles into Alec's chest. They laugh beneath the spray, open and joyous. Alec shakes his drenched hair in Magnus' direction when Magnus steps from beneath the water to compose himself.

“Incorrigible,” Magnus mutters, the fond tone of his voice turning the scold into an expression of affection. Alec grins, but bows his head in mock apology before extending his hand to draw Magnus in again, which Magnus graciously accepts.

They kiss as the water washes the fruit residue from their skin, every attempt they make at getting soap on each other's bodies derailed by their inability to part their mouths for any significant length of time. The water runs cold and they give up on making any headway there. For a long time after they shut the water off, they stand, dripping, foreheads together as the air clears. Their hands are clasped; their eyes are closed. Magnus thinks that the rest of his life could be this and only this and it would be more fulfilling than any of the centuries before. Alec's breath – it's sound, the feel of it against his face, the heart that beats behind it – is the universe's most beautiful accomplishment.

After the last rivulets of water have slid down their skin, Alec asks, “Is this day...”

“An anniversary of something?” Magnus finishes for him. He pulls back just enough to see Alec nod. “No.” He draws one of his hands up to Alec's elbow. “Just a bad day.”

“Depression doesn't need a reason,” Alec intones.

Magnus smiles at him. It's sad and hopeful and proud. “Exactly.”

Alec presses a gentle kiss to Magnus' lips. “Wanna –” he starts, but cuts himself off. “I don't know what people do for fun that isn't fighting or practicing fighting.”

Magnus laughs and kisses the hand of Alec's that he still holds. “How do you feel about musicals?”

Alec considers. “I think I saw one once.”

Magnus laughs again. “Let's get dressed and I'll introduce you to my favorites of '90s Bollywood. You've got a few hours?”

Alec leans in til his mouth hovers above Magnus', their eyes locked. “I've got my whole life. And you can have as much as you want.”

Magnus takes Alec's face in both hands and kisses him deeper and better than he's ever kissed any of the 17,000 other mouths his mouth has touched, thinking _All of it. I want all of it._

 

**Author's Note:**

> "Buah hatiku" means "the fruit of my heart" in Indonesian, at least according to bbc.com. Magnus was canonically born in Jakarta, Indonesia, at least as far as the books are concerned...that gets a little dicier with him being played by Harry Shum Jr. who's Chinese in the show -- but I didn't make that call and it was important to me to incorporate Magnus' heritage into this. When I was researching Indonesian terms of endearment, I found buah hatiku and it was too perfect to pass up, although from what I can gather, it's largely used with children these days. I figure Magnus is old as shit and uses things like they used to be used because he feels like it. He is, after all, the king of I-do-what-I-want. And what does Alec know anyway?
> 
> Also, I didn't intend for speak your bleeding heart to spawn a 'verse, but here we are. And there's another one coming, I think it'll be a second chapter on this, but it might be a stand alone... We'll see.


End file.
